Do you watch Netflix? We do. Amazon Prime as well. When the workday is done, our family tends to enjoy one series or another. During the quarantine, we knocked off Grey’s Anatomy and several Spanish language telenovelas. Telenovelas are often fashioned after English daytime television series. The exception is that they run between 40-70 episodes and have a conclusion. There are subtitles for us English speaking folks, so it is a great way to also pick up on Spanish.
What in the world does this have to do with junior hockey?
As the playoffs and off-season nears, I am going to tell you a story, well actually three, about junior hockey teams that were on the ice this past season. In an effort to avoid fallout from the leagues, and legal battles with the teams, we’re going to steer this series into the fictional lane. With that said, the stories are real, but there will be some dramatization to give it some character.
Make no mistake, I am not even close to being a great writer, but this should be a lot of fun. Let’s call this article our pilot.
Del Rio Bravos
“What do you mean they are getting a team in the Continental Hockey League,” the police chief asked one of his young officers. “This is Del Rio, do those fools really know what we have around here? With the base nearby, the Bravos have been able to carve out a niche of support from the community and soldiers while playing in lower-level leagues.
“You know chief, one of these days that coach is going to get someone killed,” the deputy explained to the chief. The older gentleman laughed before adding, “yea, I know, but that crap sure makes the locals thirsty.”
Brokeback Mountain Harriers
“I can’t believe this team is so strong,” the doctor/owner of the Harriers spoke aimlessly while scrubbing in before a surgery. “I can’t believe this idiot can’t see what’s really happening,” the charge nurse thought to herself. Just last week one of his future plumbers got hammered at a team party before ending up in a ditch. It took her husband almost an hour to pull the idiot out. Yea, word gets around in a small town.
“Hey Marge,” the doctor continued. “Do you think Mrs. Thompson has room for a player at her house.” The nurse struggled to hold back the laughter. In the team’s first season in town, Mrs. Thompson got herself into a bit of hot water with the husband when he discovered the wife watching their billet son having his way with one of the neighbors. “I don’t think that’s a good idea doc, not after last year,” the nurse managed to spit out.
“Hey #17, can I get a ride back to the billet with you,” the head coach asked the player who just arrived in town the night before. “Sure coach,” the player answered after the meeting at the coach’s office. It was pretty darn obvious that someone had been sleeping on the beer-stained couch next to the coach’s desk.
The ten-mile ride to the billet was a bit on the strange side as well. “There are three other players staying there and I’ll crash on that couch from time to time,” the coach explained to the new player. When they got to the house, there was not much to see other than sheep and a nearly 600 feet tall smelter stack. “This was a huge mining area years ago,” the coach explained. “That’s why that stack is here.”
“Hey, call your parents and have them venmo me the money for this month’s billet fee,” the coach directed as they exited the car. “I’m only here for eight days before going home for Christmas,” the new player stated. “So why would we pay for the entire month?”
***Tres Tontos is a fictional tale based on real life junior hockey experiences. The story and described conversations that resemble reality is purely coincidental. ***